awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
