You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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