I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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