That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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