i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize