I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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