Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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