He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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