At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
