i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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