How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
