This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
