is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
