I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
