this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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