i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We are all done wearing pants today
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
