Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
