but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
