did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize