ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
