this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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