ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
