The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
