Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
