dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
