didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're so nebulous sometimes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
