Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
