strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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