if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
