My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
