Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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