OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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