we're making bets on your personal life
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
