I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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