My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please, let me fuck your mom
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
