Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
