had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize