For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
