he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
