I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The power of my boobs compel you
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
