They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize