I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
