no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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