every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
