seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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