Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
