No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
