It's Friday. Sex?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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