We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize