I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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