they said they heard you say put it in my butt
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
