Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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