is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
