clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
