I hate your face
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize