If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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