i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
