I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
