You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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