doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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