I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
