Im at strip club and am horny
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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