turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
